1. |
Bacon
02:42
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I was working late on a Wednesday
It came on me unaware
Shooting pains began in my shoulder
I came to in intensive care
Oh no – give me the bacon
Oh no – give me family size
Oh no – give me the porkchop
Give me a bucketful of caramel corn
The surgeon said
“Son we got problems
Looks like your heart’s not gonna last
Shortage of donors
We got no organs
But we can get you a good pig’s heart.”
Oh no – give me the bacon
Oh no – give me family size
Oh not – give me the porkchop
Give me a bucketful of caramel corn
On the table, deep in the dark
A feeble flutter of a vital spark
Shut me down and slip it in
I can feel a new beat begin
I feel a firm new beat begin
And three weeks later I’m as right as rain
I’m back down the office working hard again
My appetite is bigger than ever
I wonder what I worried about.
Oh no – give me the bacon
Oh no – give me family size
Oh not – give me the porkchop
Give me a bucketful of caramel corn
There are no more lyrics, since the narrator has lost the power of speech and can now only grunt.
Because we are stupid people who can’t hardly play, there are only three chords in this song: B minor, D and G. You’ll figure out the order.
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2. |
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Mass communication
Listen to the sound of the money go round
Sophisticated pipes full of nothing but the babble of
Cash from old McScrooge’s swimming pool
I fought the war and the war won
I went with my pen and they gave me a gun
And now I’m shooting shadows
In the land of the setting sun
Dreams in black and white
Projections of the daylight in the night
Monsters that you meet
Reflections of yourself
In murky waters deep
There’s no business like the daily news
The bleeding baked beans never tasted so good
Celebrities are dying
To get back to Hollywood.
I’ve been hypnotised by the flickering lights
Of the magic show
Chasing shadows
And I still can’t be sure
If it’s yours or if it’s mine
Dreams in black and white
Projections of the daylight in the night
Monsters that you meet
Reflections of yourself
In murky waters deep
YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgTYiEx-JOU
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3. |
YouMe
02:31
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I think it’s time to read about crime
Puff up the pillows cause I wanna recline
And I’m not getting up til I know whodunit
If there’s a leisure competition,
Then you know the man who won it.
I don’t need to know the Latin name
These flowers that you grow
Please me just the same
My sense of smell is not so learned
That it really gives a damn
Turn me loose in the kitchen
Cause I wanna create
I’m gonna pile it so high
It’s gonna fall off the plate.
You can lie on your back
I’m gonna shovel it in
It’s a whole new meaning to living in sin
And I don’t need a Nobel Prize award
This work that I do is its own reward
We’ve got catfood and CDs and cigarettes
And there’s no real reason
To get out of bed.
What I love is a piss out of doors
That’s exactly what a garden’s for
If I find my drink I’m gonna finish it up
There’s a strong dose of coffee sitting in my cup
You and me and now and here
That’s all I ever really care
Summer is in short supply
And I’ve cornered the market.
This song has no chorus.
YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRsMjPw0WKc
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4. |
Riddles
03:34
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Wherever I walk
He’s always there
The clouds come over and he disappears
A funny fellow
He’s a funny fellow
Sometimes a midget
Sometimes so tall
Like a forty-foot monster
Climbing over a wall
A frightening fellow
He’s a scary fellow
Looking at the TV
Where have I seen you before?
Watch him in the mirror
Wondering who the hell is this?
Better watch your back
Cause he’s lurking near
He picks a fight
And leaves you standing there
Looking yellow
Over my shoulder
Just out of sight
Like black ice blind spot
Log in my eye
Who’s gonna tell you?
Looking on the TV
Where have I seen you before?
Watch him in the mirror
Wondering who the hell is this?
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5. |
Seconds
02:03
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I can see it if I stop and think
But you get no time for that
I can see these people’s strengths
If they just let me step back.
Focus, focus, concentrate
Look closely at what you do
And the rest will take care of itself
Mr Potatohead sits on his chair
He’s got buck teeth and too-big ears
His face is out of shape
And his nose is in the wrong place
It’s almost like he’s already broke
It’s the shape of things to come
He’s a teenage wage-slave in the making.
Who will take the time to learn them?
Who will compromise?
What gains will they make
When the world won’t negotiate?
Here comes their life
Like an axe on wheels
I can see where this will go
It’s all going to end at Fresh Choice.
For listeners overseas, Fresh Choice is a New Zealand supermarket chain that naturally enough employs a lot of unskilled labour. No aspersion meant on that particular brand, it’s just that the guys in this song aren’t likely to end up as management consultants.
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6. |
When I Levitate
03:25
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When I Levitate
When I levitate no-one seems to notice at all.
Even when I try to explain
You just look so bored.
As my feet leave the ground and I’m travelling through the air
I know that it’s a rare and precious skill
What a thrill it is to fly.
Sitting up on stage
Someone gives me a guitar
That I never played
And it’s looking serious
No time to tune and the strings are all breaking
When I levitate
Then I know that it must be a dream
And I’m free
Free to go wherever I will
Follow my eagle eye
As my feet leave the ground and I’m travelling through the air
I know that it’s a rare and precious skill
What a thrill it is to fly.
Out in the old blue van
Down Highway One
Stop for a piss not looking at the traffic
Watch out for electric fence
And looking serious
(Four thousand volts popped my eyes right out of my head)
When I levitate. . .
Setting up on stage
Someone gives me a guitar
That I never played
And it’s looking serious
No time to tune and the strings are all breaking. . . serious
And the management say they can’t afford to pay
Hey, hey, hey. . .
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7. |
Red Tape
03:03
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You’re not the first
To try to formulate perfect protocols
So officious and you get to show us all
That you know best
Whatever happened to personal discretion?
Trusting nobody is becoming an obsession
Delegation lets you skirt around
The work you don’t understand
Divide and rule is a familiar tool
Right there at your command
Better stay in tight with Human Resources
Those cats scratch
Watch your back
You really oughta
It’s the same old red tape
As it ever was
It’s the same old red tape
More than ever now
Obfusticate with pollysillybollock words
We’re proactive, wow!
Multi-tasking middle management
They’re in a muddle now
Don’t get no kicks from those kneejerk reactions
Micro-management gives no satisfaction
It’s the same old red tape
As it ever was
It’s the same old red tape
More than ever now
Dooby dooby doo. . .
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8. |
Sea Monkeys
03:44
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Mainstream heartland
Kiwi battler
Self-made man
Sea monkeys
Facelifts
Trickle down
Robber barons
Feed the hounds
Sea monkeys
Opinion polls
User pays
Dancing Cossacks
Iwi kiwi
Sea monkeys
Multi-tasking SUVs
Boot camps
Freedom fries
Sea monkeys
We speak a secret language
Of hocus-pocus focus groups
Each word’s a neat little trigger
Still haven’t made up your mind
We like you like that
Soft and dull and malleable
Sorry to be so unkind
But apathy and ignorance are no excuse.
Roger me gently
Dodgy high frequency
Sea monkeys
Old McScrooge is swimming in a sea of bliss
Sea monkeys
Landmark, Amway
Not a problem
User pays
Sea monkeys
Smart bombs
Downsize
Corporate welfare
Friendly fire
Sea monkeys
Well-paid scribes write the story
Don’t bite the hand that feeds
His papers are locked up forever
Hook line and sinker
It’s a whopper
If you keep saying that
Over and over
Those statistics and heuristics
It’s a textbook case of big, fat lies.
Sea monkeys.
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9. |
What?
02:02
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What the hell do you think you’re doing?
What the hell did you say to her?
Do you think this time you’ll do it?
Do you think this time you’ll go?
Her fingers shook
As she got off the phone.
I recall how you made her cry (Oh, why?)
Do you think this time you’ll do it? (Come on!)
Do you think this time you’ll go?
All right, I know you gotta do
Whatever’s gonna work for you
And I don’t ask for you to try
To stay and suffer, or to lie
But once you’ve told her you’re out of there
Then that’s where you gotta be.
So, go on:
Get on and do it.
Put us out of your misery (Oh, please)
Do you think this time you’ll do it? (Come on!)
Do you think this time you’ll go?
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10. |
Turn
03:04
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Turn to me
I will help you
It’s all I know to do
Turn to me
I will raise you
It’s my only plan for you.
Turn to me
I am here
There’s no other place to be
I know you will
Turn to me
I will comfort you
I have no other friend
Look for me
I will look for you
I’ll help your trouble end
Turn to me
I will help you
When others will pretend
I know you will
You know that it’s your birthday
Whenever I’m around
Turn to me
I will help you
I have no other skills
Turn to me
I will turn to you
You know I always will
Turn to me
It’s the only direction that you need.
I know you will
You know that it’s your birthday
Whenever I’m around.
Many happy returns.
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11. |
Subdivided Love
02:52
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Just before I say goodbye
Hear these words they’re sure not mine
Words can say most anything
The meaning lies between the lines
Double minded in between
All the King’s horses and men
Couldn’t put him back together again
Subdivided Love
Mighty waka rode Pacific’s tides
No room for naysayers on an ocean so wide
Listen to the ancient call
All for One and One for All
Double minded in between
All the King’s horses and men
Couldn’t put him back together again
Sub-divided Love
So many people so many desires
Who can mend this broken land
Listen to the ancient call
All for One and One for All
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12. |
A Crap in the Moonshine
02:00
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Get into drugs or find a job
Leave the country or find God
And I don’t care which one you choose
You’ve got to stop this self-abuse.
You know that you must stop your mind
From only going round and round
You know that you must stop your mind
Stop chewing over the same food
Get on with something that will do us all some good.
Although I’m happy to support and be with you
If you won’t help yourself there’s nothing I can do.
You know that you must stop your mind
From only going round and round
You know that you must stop your mind
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13. |
The Universe is Wrong
04:40
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Let me tell you how it will be
Let me tell you how it has got to be
How is it?
Tell us about it
The universe must change
The universe is wrong
The stars themselves must move to be
Where I say they belong
Punctuality
Does not apply to me
I’m surprised and disappointed
To hear that you can’t see
Bureaucrats and bosses will be pleasantly surprised
To find that they have never met
A person such as I
And “Yeah,” they’ll say,
“Turn up whenever.
Just do exactly what you like.”
Accept that I will call you names
And freely criticise
The universe must learn to do
Exactly what I like
And all you physicists can take a hike
The universe must change
Objects will not obey
Elements will not comply
They refuse to do my will
No matter how I try, they still deny me
What’s going on here?
Why can they not see?
What’s going on and why don’t they defer to me?
It isn’t right - it isn’t right
It’s a conspiracy of universal proportions
It goes the whole way to the top
Bastards.
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14. |
Why Us?
05:14
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Why Us?
The sun was shining
Whisper of a cloud in the clear blue sky
Why me?
I’m on the brink, I go to a shrink
I read the blues
I got the news
I like to choose the different flavours
From News Incorporated
That’s pride
With a capital “C”
Leviathan eats everything he sees
Captured by the powers that be
The natives are getting furious
I read the blues
I got the news
I like to choose the different flavours
From News Incorporated
Why us?
The sun was shining
Whisper of a cloud in the clear blue sky
Why me, I’m so well fed
I’m up to my knees in debt
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The South Tonight Christchurch, New Zealand
The South Tonight started in about 2005 in Christchurch, New Zealand.
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